19th October, 2009 - My Trousers Are Wet

All of my sensible trousers in the wash, and I have had to wear a big pair of baggy, trendy things that I bought a couple of years ago during one of my many mid-life crises. They are one of those pairs that have flairs that are designed to graze the ground. Clearly, they were dreamed up by someone in California, or some such place where when wet weather comes along, it is regarded as a novelty, and people run romantically through the streets in the light Summer drizzle, laughing before they run into a surf shack and towel each other's bronzed bodies down while singing Jack Johnston tunes.

Here in the West of Scotland however, it is not like that. Rain is not a novelty. Rain is part of the landscape. And I can testify that my trendy trousers are not sensible wear for a rainy November day in Glasgow. Rather than looking trendy, my trousers have actually absorbed mud by osmosis.Now they are more mud than trouser. I look as if I am wearing two soggy hollow tree trunks. They weigh about the same as that too.

From now on, I shall exclusively wear plus fours.