18th August, 2009 - 42 Home Improvements #5

Regular readers (and let’s face it, if you’re not, you should be) will know that I am engaged in a project to make one small improvement in my house for every year of my life. I am thus using this blog as a powerful tool for self-improvement, rather than just an excuse for endless procrastination. (One day, I will show you my list of “Things To Do When I Have Caught Up On The Blog Entries.”

Today, I have reached number 5 on the list by purchasing three lamps. This involved a trip to the industrial estate with the wife and weans on a Thursday. Rock and roll huh? The thing is, I still internally regard myself as non-conformist, but I have to say that, if Sherlock Holmes were on the case, I suspect that his powers of deduction would tell him otherwise.

“Consider the facts Watson. Alan B has a nine to five job. He has a mortgage, two children and a house in suburbia. He has Sky television. He buys his clothes from chain stores in shopping malls that are convenient for parking and motorway access. He listens to Radio 2.

Oh yes, Watson, he would have you believe that he is a rebel. However, the evidence tells us otherwise. He is living a lie. He is no James Dean. He is Harold Bishop or I shall dine on my deer stalker before the week is out.”