18th June, 2009 - Thievery

For some reason today I have been thinking about the shoplifting exploits of my peer group. Some of my pals went through a teenage phase of petty thievery, which I guess a lot of kids must go through as part of their adolescent rebellious stage. I was far too nerdy and – to be frank about this – downright scared to take part in the activity. It was partly the thought of being lifted by the polis that frightened me, but to be honest the thought of my father finding out was considerably worse. The thought of dad receiving a call from Hamilton Police Office in the early hours was enough to strike terror into my young heart.


It is enough to strike terror into me even now.

So, I watched my friends’ larcenous antics with a certain degree of detachment. In some ways I admired them. They were kind of like Robin Hood. Except Robin Hood generally stole valuable stuff instead of Motley Cru singles and Dungeons and Dragons Rule books. Also, Robin Hood was generally aiming to help out those less fortunate than himself, rather than trying to enhance the size of his record collection.

The oddest thing any of my pals ever stole – and I shall protect his anonymity – was a box of blackberry pies from BHS. Forbidden fruit pies are the sweetest of all.