17th June, 2009 - Get Off the Roads Suckers!

My driving has changed considerably since the arrival of the Roundfaced People. I have never been the world’s best driver. Hand/eye co-ordination has never really been my thing. Whilst my friends were running up high scores playing Defender and Asteroids at the local amusements in our teenage years, I was still struggling with the door handle to the arcade. So, I was never really equipped with the skills that were likely to make Lewis Hamilton quake in his heavily sponsored racing boots.


Things have been made worse in recent years because of my eye operation. It’s not that my eyes don’t work now. In fact I can see quite well out of both of them. It’s just that they don’t work at quite the same time. Or at night.

In the old days, I didn’t let these things discourage me. I would whip around the country in my old Audi 90 (the only car I ever really loved – the others have all been mere dalliances). I had no real concept of mortality. But there is something about big eyes staring at you in the rear view mirror from the confines of a car seat that makes you feel a certain responsibility.

These days I am the slow guy in front holding you up. Keep your distance.