11th July, 2009 - I am the Guru; I am the Apeman; I am the Conveyancer

I have been reading The Beatles Anthology, an d have been feeling a bit jealous of their big trip to India to see the Maharishi. Off they went, with their little mop tops blowing in the breeze, to smole dope, and to meditate for eight hours a day. A big, hippy holiday, in the sun; the flies buzzing so much that Ringo couldn’t stand it. Their heads tripping from gazing inwards and thinking of – well – nothing really.

And out of nothing – out of sun and flies and heat and dreams came the White Album. A great big experiment – weirdness and novelty and – well – genius really.

I am going to ask for a sabbatical. I amn going to speak to the work and suggest that I will benefit from three months in a hut by the seaside in Southern India. When I come back, I will have found a new way to sell houses. I will return, bearded, with a strange but serene light in my eyes, and I will startle the Scottish legal world with my sparse but beautiful new title deeds.