2nd May, 2009 - 10 Anecdotes About Fringe 2009 #5

Another kids' show I saw this year was "Burglar Bill". It was deeply worrying.

Here is the plot as far as I can remember it (although in fairness I did doze off from time to time):

Burglar Bill is a burglar. (So far so good.) He is a fairly petty burglar. As far as I could make out he stole only tins of beans and toothbrushes. In many ways he can be forgiven his crimes - all he wants to do is eat and maintain fair dental hygiene. These are not great crimes in the grand scheme of things.

However - and this is where it starts to get a bit weird - during one of his night-time burgling missions, he comes across a box. And the box contains a baby. I am not entirely sure that kids' shows should involve abandoned children in boxes. (I mean we all do it from time to time don't we folks - put our kids in a box for a bit when they are getting annoying - but we shouldn't advertise it, far less portray it as light entertainment).

But it gets weirder. The baby has been left in the box by Burglar Betty: a lady burglar. She is a single parent and seems to be without childcare in the early hours of the morning, for she has been forced to abandon the baby in the box to allow her to complete her burgling.

After some hilarious episodes involving the baby farting, Burglar Bill finally returns the Baby to Burglar Betty. Rather than report Betty to social services, Bill falls in love with her and they get married.

I am sure there is a moral there somewhere. Isn't there?