23rd May, 2009 - The Great Dezondo!

I was watching the Derren Brown show How to Control the Nation with my Significant Other last night. If you didn’t see it, the show was essentially an experiment in mass hypnosis where the slightly creepy Derren attempted to mesmerise the British public through their television screens.

He didn’t try to start anything terribly dangerous – he didn’t urge us to march on parliament or lynch Simon Cowell or anything quite as useful. But instead he tried to make us all stick to our sofas.

And it worked on my wife! After Derren finished his little film, she was firmly rooted to our three seater, and try as she might she couldn’t prize her buttocks from it. Much amusement for me of course, but made all the sweeter from the fact that I predicted that she’d be hypnotised. I have some experience in these matters as regular readers of this irregular column will know, because for a brief period in Fifth Year at school, I was a hypnotist’s assistant.

My friend Dezo had read a book on hypnotism and had a nice velvent jacket. At teenage parties he would assume the role of The Great Dezondo. I would assist. I would fetch chairs, polish his medallion and suchlike. There was no pay, but there was always the chance that he would get some girls to take their jumpers off. He never did of course.

He did, however, persuade the Couch Potato that he was spiderman.