Entry for October 26, 2007

What do women find so attractive about curly-haired fop Colin Firth?
I hear them raving about how his torso sheathed in wet cotton leaves them weak at the knees. Well ladies, Colin leaves me cold. If ever I am to lie at wake thinking of a man to spirit me off to new realms of extasy, it will not be Colin that inhabits my dreams. Even the name - Colin - does not spirit up dreams of strong masculine arms. Would Arnold Schwarzenegger have leapt at the part of Colin the Barbarian? I don't think so.
The mere thought of Colin Firth whispering sweet nothings in my ear with his hesitant public school tones is enough to leave me queasy. No! If I am to be whisked off by a man, then make it a real man. Give me Sean Connery or the beefy bloke out of Boyzone. You know they're the kind of man who would insist on extra bacon in their bap while our Colin is still trying to decide on Darjeeling or Earl Grey.