Entry for November 17, 2006

I saw my old friend David today. He flies off to Abu Dhabi in about a week's time to the life of an ex pat.
David and I experimented one sunny day in fifth year with lager ice cream drinks. It was a reasoanble enough idea we thought. It was hot. We both liked lager (lager stolen from a friend's father's fridge tastes all the sweeter). We both liked ice cream. Lager ice cream drinks seemed like the obvious thing to do.
There is a reason that lager ice cream drinks have never caught on.
The reason is that they are howfing.
But I think we were right to try it. Who knows - if it had worked out. If lager plus ice cream had combined to create some delightful new cocktail, David and I might have been giants of the brewing industry by now instead of (a) a lawyer and (b) a man who examines stools for a living.
Yes. You heard me right. David examines turds to earn his daily bread. Not exclusively mind you; I believe he has other duties; but it's one of his tasks as a hospital lab person. It's certainly the one we talk of most often at poker nights. Especially when he tells us about archiving them. I bet you never imagined that when you were riffling through the Dewey Decimal system at your public library. Someone has a system for classifying and filing jobbies.
How do you archive them anyway. What criterion do you use? Colour? Consistency? Similarity to Fat Elvis?
Anyway. I was wondering. You know how when you go abroad the cats and dogs look somehow different. I mean you know that they're cats and dogs, but something about them is different from the cats and dogs back home. I wondered if it's going to be like that for David. I wonder whether the stools will be different. How will David cope? All those years of archiving skills may be useless.
Never mind. He can console himself with a lager ice cream drink on his verandah. Except he can't drink alcohol over there.
Which cheers me enormously.