Entry for May 19, 2007

I have won a day golfing for four. I had forgotten about it, but it happened at the insurance dinner I mentioned the other day. There was a charity auction and the wife's name came out the hat. Being a generous soul, I immediately commandeered the prize, pointing out to her that I am writing a boook on matrimonial property, and section 83B(4)(a) of the Community Property (Scotland) Act 1872 states clearly that raffle prizes of a sporting nature are the property of the man of the house. She gave me a bit of a look but then pointed out that only wankers play golf and handed me the envelope with a certain sense of triumph.
One irony here is that my dad is in the golf trade and free rounds at the golf are not difficult for me to come by. The other irony is that I don't play golf any more. Not since I had the incident with the caddy car.
The incident with the caddy car occurred when i was practising. On my own. I was somewhere about the ninth at Dalziel Park. A lovely sunny day. A day when a man should be at one with nature. A day when one can appreciate the majesty of nature, and feel glad to be alive and breathing fresh air. A day to recharge drained batteries and allow the sunshine to seep into your soul.
Or, in my case, a day to have insurmountable problems with my short game. To find chop shots scooting through the green at high speed and at all angles, except the right one. A day to feel the veins on my neck begin to throb; the blood in my ears begin to rush; my left arm begin to ache in a way that presages a brief moment of consciousness in the back of a rushing ambulance.
In fact, a day to kick my caddy car so hard that I broke my toe.
Anyone want a free round of golf?