Entry for March 29, 2007

Here is the final draft. The deadline is on me. I have had to hit send.
F/X: CHEESY SCOTTISH MUSIC. This is a radio ADVERT.
Woman: (DOWN TO EARTH, WEST OF SCOTLAND ACCENT) I love Scotland because of the beautiful scenery. The mountains, the hills, and the lochs.
ASIAN MAN: I love Scotland because of the magnificent weather. It never ever rains in Scotland!
YOUTH (NED): I love Scotland because of our responsible attitude to alcohol. Binge drinking? That’s just for muppets man.
OLD WOMAN: (POSH) And why do I love Scotland? Well - because of our splendid parliament building of course – it’s the envy of all Europe - delivered right on time and four million pounds under-budget.
OLD MAN: (DOWN TO EARTH) For me it’s because of our healthy diet! The sausage supper’s a thing of the past and all good Scots eat five portions of fruit and veg every day! Me? (LAUGHS) My favourite’s broccoli!
CHILD: I love broccoli too, but what I want to know is how we know all these brilliant things about Scotland?
MOTHER: (TALKING TO CHILD) That’s a good question son. (beat) It’s because the Scottish Executive tells us about them in brilliant adverts like this. Adverts we’re all proud to pay for out of our Council Tax.
VOICE OVER: (PATRONISING) The Scottish Executive – we’re expensive; we’re patronising; and we sometimes tell you lies. But don’t you worry about that; it’s for your own good. And for the good of Scotland.