Entry for March 26, 2007

I thought I might as well let you see how the re-write of this sketch is going. Do you know the going rate for a sketch is about £44 per minute. That's per minute of broadcast time, not per minute of time spent writing it. No-one is going to become rich doing this.
Anyway - here it is - I think it's a bit better, although not quite there yet -
F/X: CHEESY SCOTTISH MUSIC. This is a radio ADVERT.
Woman: (DOWN TO EARTH, WEST OF SCOTLAND ACCENT) I love Scotland because of the beautiful scenery. The mountains, the hills, and the lochs.
ASIAN MAN: I love Scotland because of the magnificent weather. It never ever rains in Scotland!
YOUTH (NED): (SOUNDS A BIT LIKE HE’S READING A SCRIPT) I love Scotland because of our responsible attitude to alcohol.
OLD MAN: (DOWN TO EARTH) I love Scotland because of the healthy diet! The sausage supper’s a thing of the past and we all eat five portions of fruit and veg every day! (LAUGHS) Me? My favourite’s broccoli! I do love my broccoli!
OLD WOMAN: (POSH) And why do I love Scotland? Well - because of our splendid parliament building of course – it’s the envy of Europe - delivered right on time and four million pounds under-budget. Oh - it makes me proud!
MOTHER: And how do we know these things?
WeE BOY: Because the Scottish Executive tells us they’re true in brilliant adverts like this?
MOTHER: That’s right son – brilliant adverts we’re proud to pay for out of our Council Tax!
VOICE OVER: The Scottish Executive – we’re expensive, we’re a bit useless and we sometimes tell you lies.