Entry for March 17, 2007

It is good to do shows, but it is good to get your weekends back. Or at least it would be good to get them back, if it didn't mean you realise how much you have let your crappy home paperwork build up.
I am starting to truly detest the jaunty tenor of correspondence from the faceless grey companies that clog up my letterbox. Here is the opening paragraph of a letter from the kind people at Miller Homes (who built my house, complete with the sloping bedroom floor, presumably in case I want to practise snowboarding of an evening) -
"How would you like to know who your neighbours are and what the hot topics aeveryone on your development are talking about?"
But Miller homes, I know what the hot topics are -
1. Why did you plant a tree in everyone's garden at 4am one evening and then vanish like a ghost?
2. Why haven't we got locks on our windows?
3. Should we be worried about the gas mains leak? The police seemed to be. They shut the road for three days.
4. Snagging? You're having a laugh aren't you?
5. Calling a type of house "a Tees" is actually quite amusing. At night, when the lights peep through the curtains of the Tees opposite me, I imagine it murmuring softly to the neighbouring house "Come and get me. You want me, don't you? Look at my gables; I've pointed them just for you."
Remember my campaign to bamkrupt Iain Pollock is on-going. Find out how you can give to charity and cause him financial pain on his blog WHICH YOU CAN FIND BY CLICKING HERE.