Entry for June 30, 2007

Still no ice cream van. I have had to console myself with fruit pancakes, but they are a poor substitute for a ninety nine.
I have three new suits for work. It is remarkable how a new suit makes you walk with a spring in your step. Particularly when you give up the pretence that you are still a 34 inch waist, and settle for the luxury of those extra two inches around your middle. My belly has been sighing with relief all week. As I pull up the flies I can hear my stomach faintly murmuring "Free at last. Free at last - thank God I'm free at last."
As I am now nearly forty I have bought a pinstripe this time. I intend to fill the pockets with loose change and jangle this irritatingly in the manner of an absent-minded old buffer. I also intend to start reading The Daily Mail and start moaning regularly about the state that the country is in.