I see Tesco have jumped aboard the Healthy Lifestyle Bandwagon. Not content with telling us from every aisle (generally groaning with lardy treats) that it is vital to eat five portions of fruit and vegetables per day, they are now running one of those scratch card competition things where the prizes are - get this - portions of fruit and vegetables.
I know what you're thinking.
"Ooooh I must go down to Tesco tomorrow and buy my shopping in the hope that I will win a portion of broccoli or a couple of plums. I'm positively thrilled at the prospect of a vegetable prize. What a brilliant idea!!!"
Whatever next? A basket of melons when you shout house at the Mecca Bingo? A nice bunch of grapes for the winner of the FA cup? A sack of root vegetables for the winner of the Turner Prize? (No wait, it was a sack of root vegetables that won the Turner Prize).
I want something bad for me when I win something! A crate of red wine; a hundredweight of walnut whips; a shopping trolley dash in the Guinness brewery. If I ever, ever win a prize and it turns out to be some beetroot, I will not be happy.
Nightcap
15 years ago
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