Entry for February 02, 2007

Whisper it... I am composing this entry on my laptop. Obviously a lot could go wrong between this opening paragraph and actually posting the entry, but so far so good. Anyway, if it all goes wrong, I am on first name terms with most of the engineers at Dell now, so it shouldn't take more than ten or eleven hours on the phone and I'll be able to get them out to fix it. There - first paragraph over already and everything's still working.
Badminton last night, and I cannot let today pass without mentioning that Gordon and I grannied Gary and Alistair last night. I'm not sure if the "granny" is a familiar term outside Lanarkshire, but it means winning a game without the other side winning a single point.
Not a single point Gary.
Not a single point Alistair.
You'll understand that I'm not composing this to gloat. I wouldn't do that just because I know that Gary and Gordon read this. It would just be the cruel act of a bad sportsman to draw attention to your opponent's hopeless inadequacies. No - I'm trying to educate the readers in the vernacular of Scottish sporting terms. I suppose that the term must derive from the fact that your opponents played like your granny (unless your granny is an international badminton star). But, to be totally fair, Gordon and Gary's playing skills were somewhat inferior to that of most grannies.
I wonder what grannies call a "granny" when they trounce and opposing granny at a whist drive? Do they leap in the air and shout "I've great grannied you?". Actually, come to think of it, they should really employ the term "great great granny" - the "great granny" is one generation too little.
Look - I'm at the end of today's entry already and the laptop hasn't crashed. I'm going to hit "Post" now. Pray for me.