Entry for December 25, 2006

Merry Christmas!
I have spent a thoroughly traditional Christmas day. I have heard all of the following phrases (some of them more than once). Sharpen your pencils, and see how many you can tick off -
"Ooooh you shouldn't have."
"Don't worry, I've kept the receipt."
"Really, that was far too much."
"Just a small portion for me."
"No, but do you really like it?".
"I think there must be a cable missing."
"Do you think that turkey's cooked?"
"I had a nasty twinge doing my exercises so I decided to use my husband's viagra machine." (I appreciate that this one is not traditional, but it was so good I felt I had to share it).
You will now need to excuse me as I have to lie prostrate on the floor and massage my aching belly for an hour or two. I appreciate that this is not a particularly festive image, but nevertheless a man who has eaten as many sprouts as I have has to do what he has to do. I will wear a Santa hat during the procedure, to give it a seasonal twist.
However, before I do so I may have another look in the fridge. I believe that there is a bit of sherry trifle left in there, and I firmly believe that it is bad luck to wake up with trifle in the house on Boxing Day. I would not want to invite misfortune.