Entry for December 24, 2006

I read today that, in the UK this year we will use enough Christmas paper to wrap the island of Guernsey. I know this statistic to be a lie. We must have used more because I have, in fact, bought my wife the island of Guernsey for Christmas. I thought of jewellery or a nice scarf initially, but then I realised that nothing says you care like a gift of one of the Channel Islands.
The shop girl - a nice estate agent called Brenda - commented on what a thoughtful gift it was, so I think I've done the right thing. It was the devil of a job hiding it in the bottom of the wardrobe these past three weeks. Fortunately I have a lot of shoes.
I hope she (the wife, not the estate agent) does not peek in the living room after bed-time because I think the shape may give it away. That, and the fact that one of the Rolling Stones is living inside the parcel for tax reasons.
I hope she likes it.
Merry Christmas y'all.