Entry for April 30, 2007

I have made a list. This is a bad sign. List making means that I have more on my plate than a nice chicken madras. This is to be a productive week. It is necessary to finish two sections of The Book, otherwise my very patient publisher is entitled to remove my liver, slow roast it and then serve it as an hors d'ouvre in Nick Nairn's new restaurant. I know this because it is in the contract. In the small print in Annex 42C. So, by this time next week I will be reporting happily to you on completion.
My list also contains the following targets for the next 10 days -
Learn Serbo Croat.
Complete successful defence of World Welterweight title.
Lose eighteen pounds to achieve Welterweight status.
Achieve enlightenment.
Sign modelling contract and finalise proofs for centrefold in Playgirl.
Do several altruistic deeds.
Interview JD Sallinger.
Perfect my Creme Anglaise.
Sip a perfect ice tea beside the still waters of Lake Geneva.
It all seems achievable. I'm just going out now; I may be some time.