Entry for April 25, 2007

I have optimistically planted vegetables in my garden. This is optimistic for at least two reasons.
Firstly, I am lazy. The chances of me nurturing my little courgettes to fruition (and no, that is not a veiled reference to masturbation) are limited. I sense that after a couple of weeks of hoeing between the rows of tidy little plants on my Saturday mornings, the lure of Soccer AM and a coffee will become too much. I shall sit guiltily watching Tim Lovejoy in his very nice shoes whilst weeds choke my little vegetably friends.
Secondly, I know nothing about gardening. I thought a PH level was what Dr Gillian O'Keefe was awarded from the University of Namibia and for all I know mulching is something bizarre that is only legal in certain parts of Cornwall.
All in all, I fear for my little allotment, and my plans to reduce my food miles just a little. But you never know. Perhaps by some miracle, the plot will bear fruit, and on one halcyon summer day in August I shall be able to harvest my own dinner.
I shall keep you posted. If you are lucky I may even post a photo of my courgette and my Victoria plums.