Entry for 8th December, 2007

My Significant Other is a teacher. This, of course, is a cushy job. Don't let any teacher tell you otherwise. They get about 42 weeks holidays a year, they get "in-service days" (i.e. "sit around in the staff room drinking tea" days, and they get to go down the pub every day at 3.30pm with their alcoholic teacher pals.
(She is here now. She says it isn't true. Honestly it - really is stressful.)
Good she's gone. Come on - we all know that it's a wee pretendy job. (She is ranting in the background now.)
Anyway, I'm not complaining. At least i get some of my hard-earned tax back in the form of her state-paid wages. And of course there's the ridiculously generous pension plan. Not that I will ever get to see that. Because I have a proper job, and therefore will die of some stress-induced illness long before I retire, thus allowing all the public sector workers (who get to retire at the age of about 29) to live off my National Insurance contributions as they buy up second homes in Bulgaria for the price of a second class stamp.
The best bit about her being a teacher is the stories about the kids. There is this wee hard nut in her classes - Wee Malcy - who is about 13 years old. he is forever getting into scrapes and scraps of one sort or another. Today's story was my favourite for a while. He came steaming into her class, full of indignant rage -
WM - Miss. It's no fair.
SO - What isn't fair Malcy?
WM - I'm gettin suspended.
SO - Oh dear. Why's that?
WM - I've been accused of pullin Chantelle McLaren's thong so hard it snapped. And I didna do that.
SO - No. No. You've got it wrong. It's Bridie McGurk's thong.
WM - (BRIGHTLY) Oh aye. I snapped her thong. That's all right then.