Entry for 27th September, 2008 - Don't Humour the Couch Potato

I see that Couch Potato is to give out random gifts. If you haven't checked out his blog yet, don't do it. It will only go to his head, and he will feel that he is popular and funny. He is not, and you should not humour him. It will only lead him to develop a stand up comedy routine, which he will perform at the Glasgow Comedy Festival in 2011. He will go down badly, and people will throw things.
He will be devastated to realise that he has been living in a dreamy little bubble all these years. As a result he will leave his lucrative and exciting job in financial services and wind up destitute. You will see him mumbling lame one liners in Princes Street Gardens in a year or two. He will smell a bit of stale beer and will be dressed in a rumpled t shirt and peculiar trousers. So no change there then.
I hope he doesn't read this. He might not send me a pressie.