Entry for 27th August, 2008

I have been telling you about my vain attempts to establish a household budget. I have been sabotaged once again.
In spite of my beautiful Excel spreadsheet setting out in minute detail our every penny of expenditure; in spite of my clear explanations to my Significant Other that even a single penny of excess expenditure will result in us all being imprisoned in the Debtors' Gaol and the children being sold to Brad Pitt or Madonna; in spite of all of this my Significant Other has decided to give most of our income away to two dogs called Alfie and Smudge.
She has been accosted by one of those Chuggers (charity muggers) that stalk you in large shopping centres. You will have seen them in their dayglo jackets and baseball caps approaching you with broad smiles and clipboards. If you have any sense, you scowl at them as you give them the scissors like JPR Williams in his hay day.
Not my Significant Other though. She listens to them patiently. She gets shown pictures of Hard to House Doggies. Her heart melts and then, blinking back the tears, she signs a Direct Debit in favour of the Dogs Trust.
Sixteen quid a month! What are these dogs eating? Fillet steak? Foix gras? Do they sleep on beds of ostrich down? Do you have any idea how many tracks you can download from i-tunes for that kind of money?
Frankly, Alfie and Smudge are going to have to make their own way in life. I am canceling their direct debit.