Entry for 23rd November, 2007

Like my friend Sande, I am missing the snow this year. I thought we might have got some last week, but all we managed in my little corner of Glasgow was a flurry which vanished almost as quickly as it fell. That is the trouble with global warming – it takes all the fun out of winter. Instead of all the illicit dangers of snowball fights, sledging and skating on thin ice, all we get nowadays is a smattering of sleet. I suspect that the planet’s temperature is being raised by some Health and Safety officials from Swindon, to reduce winter admissions to A & E.
I am irritated because I am aching to build a snowman for my daughter. In fact I have a carrot, two pieces of coal and an old scarf set-aside. Every time I look at them, they look like the remains of some skeleton dug up by a member of Channel 4 Hit for Archaeological Nerds, “Time Team”. They are like the grave goods of some fat, smiley Snowman King. If my house is buried by a freak volcanic eruption next week I like to imagine some whiskered archaeologist of the future uncovering the artifacts, so a latter-day Tony Robinson can reconstruct a picture of Frosty – Last of the Glaswegian Snow Emperors.