Entry for 20th January, 2008

Welcome to the Blog of the Kindly Cuppa
40 Cups of Tea With 40 Friends
is my goal in life.
And it must be done before 10th July.
Click here to find out why.
If you would like to be my friend and earn a QCT (Qualifying Cup of Tea) then let me know.
No. of QCTs to date: 3
So, the story I heard from my colleague today was this:
My colleague stays in an old tenement building in Glasgow. One of her neighbours is a moderately successful local playwright, and a hard-drinking man. Apparently his love for the odd tipple was causing domestic disharmony. His significant other pointed out that, just because he was self-employed did not mean that he should not put in an afternoon shift at the word processor. So, she imposed a ban on him drinking in the afternoon.
All was well for a week or two, but one sunny Tuesday afternoon, he succumbed to the wily temptations of Johnny Walker, and found himself three sheets to the wind as 5pm approached. He knew that he had promised to make dinner for his beloved and realised that if he did not make good on this pledge, he would be doubly in the doghouse.
So, he dragged himself from his West End sofa and headed for a nearby fruit shop where he was a regular customer. However, in his stupour he collapsed in the aisle. As he fell on his back, he let out a torrent of swearwords and sent a display of King Edwards rolling across the floor amidst the Jimmy Choos of Po-faced women from Kelvinside. They drew him looks of disapproval, but undaunted our hero gazed straight back at them and asked them what they were looking at.
The proprietor of the shop scurried over and looking down at our bedraggled protagonist, asked him "What's this all about Malcy?"
Malcy looked up through his misty eyes and shouted defiantly: "I came here for some tatties, not a f**cking existentialist conversation."
Much horrified gasping from the customers, folllowed by the proprietor leaning over and yelling in Malcy's face: "You're barred!"
I have never been barred from a pub, let alone a greengrocers. I feel that I have lived too small a life.