Entry for 15th November, 2007

My Significant Other is a bit of a fan of glossy “celebrity” magazines. I put the word “celebrity” in quotation marks because I generally don’t recognise the people staring up from the shiny pages. Frankly, my idea of a celebrity magazine would cover Charles Dickens, Joe Pettigrew the Aberdeen Striker from the early 80s and Richard Herring. However, I suspect that the publication would appeal to only a very small niche market.
Of the magazines my Significant Other devours, I always look out for “Closer”. It has my favourite column of all time in it. The author is Coleen McLoughlin, fiancée of England striker Wayne Rooney. You might be forgiven for thinking that Coleen is just a pretty face. But you would be wrong. She has clearly either been to journalism college, or alternatively has been closely studying A.A. Gill’s columns in the Sunday broadsheets.
Here are a couple of particularly pithy pieces of prose from this week’s column –
“You won’t see any photos of me in them, but I’m mad for pyjamas at the moment. M&S do a set that looks like a velour tracksuit – it’s got bottoms, a zip top and a vest. I’ve bought them in lots of colours to lounge around in over Christmas.”
And
“There was a story recently that I’d been buying loads of junk food for Wayne. I don’t think people are really interested in that.”