Entry for 15th April, 2008

We have Sky Plus.
A man from Sky came and installed it. I say "installed". Of course, I know that such a miracle as the Sky Plus Box is not really "installed" at all. No-one so prosaic as an engineer could simply plug in a device that lets you pause and rewind live TV. It lets you reverse time, my friends. Such work is not the job of a technician. For that, some darker art is required.
In a word: witches. Witches are employed by Sky to create and power the Sky TV box. They pour dark infusions into their cauldrons at Sky HQ to create the unholy magick required to freeze Jonathan Ross mid-sentence, or to let you watch Paul Scholes slot one in the onion bag (la sac des oignons for my French and Quebecoise readers) over and over and over again.
Withes of Sky I salute you.