Entry for 14th October, 2009 - Stupid Compost Bin

Stupidly, I have bought a compost bin. I did it in a moment of rashness whilst I was wandering around the garden centre during the bank holiday along with every other middle aged saddo in the West of Scotland. (I try to believe – against the evidence - that I am not like these other mortgage slaves, who have nothing better to do on a sunny holiday that seek to improve the tiny kingdoms that they call their own, in spite of the fact that everything, everywhere, is really owned by the banks and we are only bonded serfs tilling the earth for our corporate masters).
I bought it in a moment of ecological guilt about the amount of crap that we throw out every week. However, on further analysis, there are several things which suggest that my purchase was unnecessary.
I have nowhere to put it in the garden.
I don’t use much compost.
It cost thirty quid.
It is made of plastic, a derivative of fossil fuels, thereby increasing my carbon footprint rather than decreasing it.
I do not know how to make compost as I am a nerdish professional with soft hands and sallow skin.
It is causing some friction between myself and my Significant Other. She, quite unreasonably in my view, has suggested that keeping a pile of rotting organic matter next to the house, is not entirely hygienic.
Never mind. It is another STI (Small But Tangible Improvement). Number *** in fact. My life is so much better than yours. I have a compost bin. You probably don’t.