15th March, 2009 - Ten Things I Hate About My Job #2

Paperclips!

Paperclips are the work of the devil. Or if not the devil, some sort of minor demon who specialises in creating mayhem through the loss of important documentataion.

Oh yes, they seem innocuous enough, but that is part of their evil plan. On the face of it, they even seem helpful. They offer you the promise of neatly clipping little groups of paper together in an organised manner, so that you give the appearance of a man who knows which papers should be grouped together. What could be wrong wih that?

I’ll tell you what is wrong with that. The paperclip is an accident waiting to happen. The paperclip invites other papers to become ensnarled at the back of groups of paperclipped papers. This is not a problem which arises with all of the other, superior paper-organising devices. The bulldog clip for example does not allow other papers to get entangled. The bull dog clip stands proud and snarls at loose papers say “Be off with you. My jaws are firm.”

And the chances of papers accidentally getting on to the wrong treasury tag are infinitesimal. Similarly the stoic old staple, is firm and strong in its attachment. Only human error can result in the wrong papers being stapled together.

But the evil little paperclip is an entirely different story. I hate you paperclips. I hate you.